Friday, February 24, 2006

So How Do You Tell If Your Man Is Lying?

I mean really: some people are just good liars. I suppose one could say that about me, but that's really only in relation to my parents, I think...
I've never really been good at lying to folks - I always get busted. As I get older, and ornerier, I really don't bother with lying; my attitude is Joke 'Em If They Can't Take A Fuck. Yeah, I have a few things I try to keep on the down low...but for the most part I'm pretty straight up.

But men...they lie through their teeth with a huge smile and you can't tell a damn thing...so they THINK. See, we let them think that we don't know, when we really do...but we wait until they really fuck up and we have solid proof - and then we pounce:

"Wait - what was that? But you actually said last week that you met her at the gym, not your cousin's bar mitzvah..."

or

"Hold on, Cowboy...I thought you said that the 26 phonecalls you made last week on your cell phone were to your mother...but she's dead."

or

"Gee, it's funny that you should ask why I'm asking so many questions...I thought you liked curious and insatiable women. Oh, you just meant in bed..."

You get the idea. And yes, women are great liars as well...I'm just being an asshole because it's easier to pick on men...This is my blog and I can say whatever the FUCK I want, and right now, with the exception of maybe my Dad, I don't really trust any man as far as I can throw him. Considering that I have a fucked up back, it's not that far.
Ask me tomorrow, though, and I'll probably tell you the exact opposite. Hey, I'm pms'ing, so SUE me.

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