Tuesday, October 14, 2008

How to Get My Mojo Back: What to do when you just don’t feel like the Rockstar you are

So, as you all (whomever reads my blogs and talks to me) know, my life has recently been in the shitter with my breakup with Bradlee and then my cat Nina dying all in like the same month. Needless to say, it all finally overcame me and I literally had a nervous breakdown a week ago...but I'm doing okay now. I actually went to a friend's party on Saturday (was a little nervous, didn't walk in with my usual "okay now the party started 'cause I'm here" swagger - possibly because I didn't know anyone except the host), and it was groovy: we watched 80's cartoons and ate breakfast and drank Mimosas.


So, I'm starting to get back into being able to have a life...and to enjoy it...(with bouts of depression here and there)...but I ain't got my mojo, yo. I don't feel sexy. I don't feel...womanly. I feel like one of the Marge's sisters on the Simpsons.

Not Good.

I consider myself to be an attractive, intelligent, sexy, and relatively awesome person to hang out with kinda chick. I'm fun, funny, and lotsa people like me (or at least the ones who aren't talking behind my back while they act like they like me - sigh - fuckers)...however that's all intellectual. I don't feel it. It's like...imagine The Dude from The Big Lebowski suddenly not being the dude - well, The Dude without his carpet.

That's me. I'm a female sexual version of The Dude. Sounds weird, but ask my friends and they'll tell you it's true.

But I've lost my carpet. (ha - the references in here are getting interesting but unintentional, but please enjoy the fun) - and I don't mean that I necessarily have to go to Henrietta Hudson, although the thought is appealing...except...what, kids?


I'm not going to rant here on why; some know but I don't want to be rude to my ex, so we'll leave it at that. I might leave something juicy on OW, though...just a nugget. I mean, you can't break up with me and not get something written about you, as a couple of people know...even who became my friends again eventually.


Stella got her groove...but I'm kinda in a bind here: having trouble even wanting to bump into someone else in a supermarket aisle let alone do a horizontal tango with one of several available lovers/exes that I could. And not because of my ex anymore...no. Because I lost my fucking carpet.

So. I gotta find it again.I guess cleaning my house a little this weekend helped. Now, off to clean my mind.


Blogger derfina said...

If no one else has chewed their arm off to get out of bed with you, why do it to yourself? Pick that self up and dust it off, cuz you ain't done with it yet, bay-beee!

1:12 AM  
Blogger Cadaverous Nun said...

It will be okay...I promise. You know my story - and I'm still here, woman.

That guy was not right for you and your kitty is looking down from up above and saying "Hey, Mom, quit being a big PUSSY!"

Hugs to you - promise to post something soon.


11:29 AM  
Blogger Crabby McSlacker said...

Sorry to hear about losing your cat... and a breakup on top of that? No wonder you feel crappy. (Love the Simpson Sisters comparison).

It's a cliche but even just the passage of time can help a lot. And it's pretty normal to have mojo trouble after major sucky life events. Hope you feel better about everything soon!

2:15 PM  
Blogger Billychic said...

Thanks, Ladies - you all rock.

2:52 PM  
Anonymous Kris said...

Oh, you silly tart, just get over it.

There's my tough love. Love the carpet reference...lol


9:32 PM  
Anonymous kat said...

I had the same thing happen to me. My cat of 13 years passed away and then I lost the boyfriend. Although it was sort of my fault (according to him) that we broke up. Apparantly, unbeknownst to me, we had drifted a part and while on a business trip he took advantage of the paid hooker he was given as a bonus (and what kind of shit heads even do this kind of crap?). Of course, these pitiful details didn't surface until AFTER the doctor's office called to tell me that -- somehow -- I had come down with an STD. The only reason that I was even checked for this is that I had gone to the clinic at school where they check everyone for these things. Had I gone to my regular doctor, who knew I was in a 3 year relationship, I would not have been checked for this, nor would I have known about it. Somehow, I had to find gratitude for this in of itself.

I've lost my Mojo more than once. But somehow, someway, it always finds its way back. You'll get yours back too. I know you will.

5:07 PM  

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