Adventures in Modern Eating: Had Enough Of Your Plate?

“ Are you hungry? ”

“ No. I am tired of eating. It is so high maintenance and costs too much. I am tired of it. I cannot take it anymore! It is too much responsibility!

I want to take a break. Can I not get someone else to do it for me? I just want a vacation. Day in . . . Night out . . . Will it never end? Can I not delegate it?

I just need to hibernate like a bear, or live off fat humps like a camel. There is so much peer pressure—just because everyone else eats, does not mean that I must! I would rather find people who do not have enough to eat and go back to my roots.

There is just too much from which to choose—having to select all the “right” foods to eat, or else risk making myself sick, or too light, or too heavy. So much stress and pressure. Can it not be simple?

All this ingesting and excreting!
I just want to starve and die already!

And do not even get me started on the responsibilities of having to breathe in and out all of the time!!!

Inhale . . . Exhale . . . Inhale . . . Exhale . . . Inhale . . . Exhale . . .

It is utterly EXHAUSTING!

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So ask me again later. ”