Sunday, June 25, 2006

Big Brother: Scarier Than I Ever Imagined

When I think of Big Brother, I usually think of the government (namely ours), George Orwell, the year 1984, and the time that both of my big brothers conned me into two separate games of 52 Pickup in the same day.

I had no idea that there was a reality TV show with the same name. Nor was I prepared for the horror - that it was an annual thing every summer, and this year it's back! Number 7! And they picked the biggest assholes from all the other shows to face off as to who would have the honor of being the "head of household."

I swear to god, I'm so out of the loop when it comes to TV. I don't know if that's a positive or negative.

I was feelng mindless tonight (as if that's ever a change) and found myself in front of the television, staring at CBS like it was the missing link. While brushing my cats, these back-stabbing, evil, snotnosed, socially retarded people were paraded in front of me, highlighting how they had fucked over (er, and fucked) their other housemates to get ahead or win previous shows, and why I should vote that they be allowed in this Big Brother:All Stars show.

The irony.
"I'm an asshole. I was evil and conniving. That's why you should vote for me!!!"

Of all of them, this one is the biggest asshole, but at least he's totally honest that he's an asshole, so at least you know what you're getting into.

The only ones that seemed nice were the two queens, Bunky and Marcellas, who although vain little bitches, seem to have a a decent bone in their bodies, and the fat nerdy guy. I hope one of them wins.

Perhaps I'm being a catty whore (pause for response) but all the women except this chick got on my last goddamn nerve. At least she seemed up front and perfectly ornery. The rest of them are a bunch of Anna Nicole wannabes who boinked anything not nailed to the floor or clawed its eyes out in an attempt to win.

What upsets me more than anything, though, was that I even spent time watching this reality-tv black hole bullshit. What the hell is wrong with me?


Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am still waiting for the real Big Brother show, where we get to watch the NSA spying on one of us. There won't be any getting voted off an island or out of the house, but how cool will it be to watch innocents being disappeared by the CIA live on TV?

This Fall, on CBS...


11:52 AM  
Blogger Billychic said...

Oh, far out!

I thought that show was already running! With really high ratings, especially since GWB got into office!

I wonder who they would cast - and what part?

You know that Arnold would want a piece of that pie, too, since he can't seem to cut the action hero bit anymore...

3:25 PM  

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