Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Single Again: A Blessing in Disguise

My boyfriend and I just broke up today. Well, it was interesting while it lasted.
I'll tell you though; I really am proud to say that I didn't fuck this one up. I really gave it the old college try...I mean, I really tried to do things different, tried to listen and talk more; tried to be patient; tried to let go of some of my control issues or having to always be right.

At least now I can look forward to a few things: like having good sex again, having intellectually stimulating conversation about something besides family guy, and not having to listen to elevator jazz music. I don't care what anyone says: Spyro Gyra is not jazz.

What did I learn, kids?

1) Don't date a man old enough to be your father, who is as mature as your son, and whose health makes him actually old enough to be your grandfather.
The man is one twinkie and a cigarette away from a heart attack...perhaps that's why he has so many sexual problems.

2) Just because someone says they are trying to be a gentleman, it isn't always so.
He really isn't...If he was, he would have had the courtesy of informing me that he couldn't deal with the issues I laid on the table, and that we would have to break up...instead of my finding out by looking at his new "single" status online. He used the whole thing of "trying to be a gentleman" as an excuse to avoid any kind of physical intimacy...which was due to inability for emotional intimacy. We were in the honeymoon phase of the relationship and I felt like I was Edith and he was Archie Bunker. Wow, that's hot.

3) When they tell you "I love you" very early on, and you have red flags, really pay attention to the red flags.
Sure, it made me feel very special that he seemed to care so much, and I got swept up...but taking me on trips and buying me things doesn't mean jack shit when you have problems even kissing me.

4) Don't date recovering coke addicts/alcoholics unless they have gone through enough therapy and are really able to take responsibility for their lives/mistakes and also get beyond their intimacy issues.
Enough said.

5) If they leave things out before they meet you: i.e. that they smoke (and they know you're a non-smoker) and that they are dry drunks/sober cokeheads -- and leave that info out even after you've been talking to them for over a month on the's probably a good sign that something's not right

6) Don't date people you meet on MySpace

7) If they show no interest in reading your writing, viewing your creative work, even though you ask them to, there's a problem.
First of all, if someone is first dating you, they should want to know about your creative aspirations, should be interested in sharing your work that makes you happy. He liked my pictures because he takes them and can just look - but he never read my writing or went to my blog sites.

If anything, this dude should thank me - I begged him to go get a checkup because his health seemed really bad and the fact that he smokes like two packs a day and has horrible eating habits (eggs and sausage every day, milkshakes for snacks) and he finally went in; and he found out that he has serious health issues that he needs to deal with - and if he takes care of them now, he will be okay.

I wanted to help him with this if he just could get the intimacy thing dealt with - hell, I was going to support him regardless, but he had to go and act like this...
I mean, it's his m.o. : avoidance. That's what having intimacy issues is. But I don't deserve to be treated like this. He couldn't even tell me that he had decided to pack it in.
He has yet to return my phonecall or emails. To say I'm pissed at being treated this way after being sexually/emotionally deprived for two and a half months is an understatement.

In fact, I'm fuming...I'm so mad...I wasn't even going to write this blog right now, but I had to get it out or else it would eat me up. HOW FUCKING DARE HE TREAT ME THIS WAY!

I really feel like sending him a care honor of his trying to quit smoking this weekend and lower his GodKnowsHowHigh cholesterol, I would like to send him a carton of cigarettes, a few packages of twinkies, a loaf of pound cake, a bottle of scotch and an eight-ball and a few straws.
Here's your parting gift, you FUCK. What's a few addictions and cholesterol points? Go to town - on me.

He smokes Old Gold - who the fuck smokes those? Only fuckers who are either old enough to have been around when cigarettes were first made, or people who think it's cool to smoke cigarettes that make John Wayne look like a queen.


Blogger Mindless Dribbler said...

Old Gold? never even heard of'em...must be some shit.

Sometimes it don't always pay to be all nice.

12:54 PM  
Blogger Maritza said...

"cigarettes that make John Wayne look like a queen" killed me!!!

Fuck 'em and never ever date someone from Myspace! I met "the Carpenter" that way and it ended on a less than pleasant note. You would think I knew better. He told me upfront that he finds it difficult to date someone that doesn't like in Brooklyn! JErsey is not Siberia!
Enough about me. Count your blessings, cut your losses and all that good advice. Good that you're angry, he didn't deserve you.

5:57 PM  
Blogger MsDemmie said...

Onwards and upwards!

(BlogMad guided me here)

4:18 PM  
Blogger mike said...

Sounds like you're much better off without him.

Blogmad hit!

11:58 PM  
Blogger Full Frontal Honesty said...

Definitely go with the parting gifts idea. Joke 'em if they can't take a fuck!

You deserve better, my dear.

3:40 PM  
Blogger Sportive Tricks said...

Don't trust anyone who says "I love you," prior to four months of dating. Even then, I'd say six months is a better amount. I'm sorry, but we aren't 22 anymore. Love contributes about 50% of a relationship. You've got to figure out if peoples' issues, hang ups, and true colors are worth dealing with before you take the "I Love you," plung. Somebody who says it before they can possibly mean it is very much trying to avoid intimacy by racing through it. Spot on to you. Always pay attention to those red flags.

1:58 PM  
Blogger bananastyled said...

you should see him one last time for the county fair and treat him to deep fried oreos downed with a shot of trans fats

i <3 u d

5:02 PM  

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home