Monday, August 28, 2006

"I refuse to engage in a battle of wits with an unarmed man."

Note the quote.

In case you've been living under a rock your whole life, that's a quote from Wilde, and possibly the best of the many lines the man uttered in his run on this Earth that can be considered words to live by. Given the way things have been lately, and the way I've been needing to silently remind myself sometimes several times a fucking hour of the pointlessness of arguing absolutely idiotic issues with absolute idiots, it just feels appropriate. And where better to keep my written reminder of how I SHOULDN'T be wasting my time than on the Internet, Time Wasting Capital of the Universe, and THE premier arena for battles of witlessness? I can't think of a more fitting place myself.

I have begun to realise lately that I have fallen into old habits, letting very stupid issues blossom and grow into major catastrophes by either ignoring them at the same time as remaining in their presence (or keeping them in mine), or worse, remaining in their presence and feeding them with argument and 'relieving the stress' they cause with self-destructive behaviour. I quite often find myself engaging in battles of wits with unarmed men and women, some of whom aren't even man or woman enough to battle face-to-face, using other people (usually ones just as fucking moronic as themselves) or anonymous internet bullshit to get their pointless 'points' across. I tell myself how bloody stupid they are and how little their bullshit really amounts to, but I continue giving them my time and my ear, thus continuing to give their arguments weight and myself fucking stomach ulcers.

And so I end it. I was forced this weekend to give a lot of thought to some issues that I've allowed others to dump on me, issues whose seeds were planted way too long ago by the cowardly and witless and have been growing and eating me from the inside out for entirely too damned long. I gave thought to those, as well as to the fact that as all this petty nonsense was going down, some very real and important things were happening. All of a sudden (or maybe not) I noticed how completely fucking ludicrous it is that I gave any time and energy to most of this shit at ALL as I was battling family issues, illness, addiction, financial problems, and emotional loss. Somehow, I've managed to survive most of my 'real' problems and come out on the other side relatively unscathed. And for this, I feel like I've earned a reprieve. I have earned the right in part two of my life to tell the witless to fuck off and die, to keep their goddamned fighting and drama and pettiness and whateverthefeck else to their fucking selves and leave me the hell out of it. I've earned the right to flip them off and walk away. I've wasted enough time arguing in circles with people too dumb or just too damn thickheaded and unreasonable to be talked to. I simply haven't the time to waste anymore.


Blogger BlueChick said...

Ever notice how people (MEN) can't handle an intelligent woman? Walk away from those timesuckers Sad thing is that we meet these petty people everyway. I feel you.

2:32 PM  
Anonymous Tim Caldwell said...

Ever notice that when people (PEOPLE) generalize about things, they reveal their prejudices? Enough with the man-hating, please.

11:21 PM  
Blogger Billychic said...

Point well-taken, Tim. You're hilarious.

I have met many men who can't handle an intelligent woman (I've dated several and was married to two of them)...and many women who can't handle intelligent men. Although this is a "woman's site," I think it's important for us all to remember that no matter what the gender, assholes run rampant everywhere.

In fact...when I was growing up, it was mostly the girls that were the nasty ones, for I'm sure many women on here will agree that for every decent chick out there, there are like 10 catty bitches.

That said, many of the woes that several of us go through (those writing on here and those reading) are often caused by possible/past/current/future lovers. Considering that this is a site with posts by women, and 2/3 are probably either heterosexual or bisexual, the chances of angst being caused by someone of the opposite sex are a little bit higher than not. That combined with the title of this post including a masculine reference ("...unarmed man") might lead one to deduce that the people in question that inspired this post might be male.

I personally read it as a general reference, not reading any specific gender out of it; and for our dear AspieGoddess, I simply hope that things get better for her as soon as possible. Otherwise the world might implode upon itself from her rage. I also hate to see her so upset.


12:09 AM  
Anonymous Tim Caldwell said...


Of course I appreciate the gender orientation of this blog, but the headline is a famous quote by Oscar Wilde, and not an indictment of Men. Additionally, AspieGoddess calls out men and women in her post, and while I dig your POV regarding lovers, there are probably women in youir roster of writers that are bisexual and lesbian, so if they have problems with their lovers, it ain't all a man's fault. (Insert a "yeah, but men made them gay" joke if you wish.)

Having written that, I feel it necessary to point out a well-known fact. Men ARE generally not highly evolved, and while many of us men do the best we can, we seem to be lacking in some areas. Trust me that this is annoying even for many men.

And yes, I also hope the sun shines more on our AspieGoddess.

Thanks for letting me put a couple of thoughts out there.

12:42 AM  
Blogger Billychic said...

Tim -

Absolutely. Couldn't agree with you more about everything you said.

I was simply pointing out what might cause others to make generalizations...

And yes, one fabulous aspect of this blog is that there is a healthy representation of all sexual orientations on here. That's one thing that makes me very happy.

Another is that intelligent, well-spoken writers such as yourself read and comment, both male and female alike.

12:50 AM  
Blogger Róisín Rua said...

Figures the first time I get this many comments on here, only one of them's actually about MY post.


10:02 AM  
Blogger Róisín Rua said...

By the way, I'm terribly sorry if my direct quote from a MALE writer was taken as sexist by any reader of this site....I suppose men aren't the only ones who need to PC-ize all their references these days.

10:33 AM  
Anonymous Tim Caldwell said...

I am sorry that my comment regarding man-hating unleashed a barrage of remarks unrelated to your original post.

I suppose this is one of the problems inherent with this sort of forum. We read an intelligent post by a terrific writer, and this spurs us to contribute to the conversation, but not the one proposed by the writer. Quite often, however, the comment thread has nothing to do with the original post, and therefore the writer does not receive the feedback she or he was hoping for.

I cannot help but find it amusing that the "man" Wilde was addressing was Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, creator of Sherlock Holmes, and Holmes is the subject of another line I have heard oft-quoted by you, and usually directed at me..."No shit, Sherlock." As Captain Obvious, allow me to agree with you.

You HAVE earned a reprieve, AspieGoddess. In spades, in fact. If anyone has earned a break from the endless stream of bullshit that seems to have cut a swath through her backyard, it is you.

And with that tortured metaphor, I wish you a happy sunny Sunday.

11:20 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This was so fucken great! Better than fresh air.. I think..

9:39 PM  

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