So when are you having children, part II
In my last “children” post I complained about people asking us when we are having kids. Recently, I heard people expressing their opinions about the opposite.
A friend of mine at work got married in September and she and her husband are trying to start their family. When other colleagues heard this, a chorus of “already?” and “so soon?” was heard. Who are they to judge how quickly a couple chooses to start their family (or not)? It seems like no one is ever satisfied with if or when other people plan kids.
Who are they to have an opinion on when others have kids? What’s it to them? Is it really their business?
Now that people know that she’s trying, I’ve heard people ask “are you pregnant yet?” whenever they see her. Give me a break. She and I were talking about this and she regrets having shared this info with other colleagues. I suggested that she keep a calendar with symbols for the days she and her husband have sex and for the days her period is expected. This will alleviate the questions… they just have to look for themselves.
If and when my husband and I decide to start trying, I want no one to know. This is a such personal decision. We should be the only decision makers in this process unless anyone else wants to raise our kids, change their diapers, and pay for their medical expenses, clothing, daycare and college expenses.
So for those who want to know: No, we are not trying for children. We’re just having fun practicing.
A friend of mine at work got married in September and she and her husband are trying to start their family. When other colleagues heard this, a chorus of “already?” and “so soon?” was heard. Who are they to judge how quickly a couple chooses to start their family (or not)? It seems like no one is ever satisfied with if or when other people plan kids.
Who are they to have an opinion on when others have kids? What’s it to them? Is it really their business?
Now that people know that she’s trying, I’ve heard people ask “are you pregnant yet?” whenever they see her. Give me a break. She and I were talking about this and she regrets having shared this info with other colleagues. I suggested that she keep a calendar with symbols for the days she and her husband have sex and for the days her period is expected. This will alleviate the questions… they just have to look for themselves.
If and when my husband and I decide to start trying, I want no one to know. This is a such personal decision. We should be the only decision makers in this process unless anyone else wants to raise our kids, change their diapers, and pay for their medical expenses, clothing, daycare and college expenses.
So for those who want to know: No, we are not trying for children. We’re just having fun practicing.
posted by BlueChickat 8:42 AM
3 Comments:
Practice with wreckless abandon!!!
Both of mine were accidents, and I had been a staunch child free person before that. The amount of crap I had to take from people over that drove me inSANE.
As well, the fact that everyone thought I was suddenly this totally maternal girl almost drove me over the edge. I felt constantly judged, and then given the silent "told you so" after. I hated that part. Other women can suck SO HARD.
My friend just got married, and her complaint is that everyone expects her to have kids just because she is married, she doubts her and her husband want kids.
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