Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Go See Juno

If you haven't seen Juno yet, you should. You should stop whatever it is you are doing right now and go see Juno. I'm serious. Any moment lived without having seen Juno is just an empty shallow lie of what your life could be. Go see Juno.

I have mentioned before my all-encompassing love for this movie. If I could hug Juno, I would. I would bake Juno cookies sprinkled with unicorn tears. I would travel all over the country in a van and dance in fountains with Juno while The Magic Numbers plays in the background.

Am I being hyperbolic? Hell no, my friends. Hell no.

Often when I watch a movie I will gender-swap the lead roles when I replay the scenes in my head. And then I would recast myself as the newly-improved leading lady and imagine whatever current boy I am fixated on as my romantic interest. It just helps me get through films and life in general.

Men's parts are usually (always) more interesting. The guys have the best lines. Remember Vera Farmiga in The Departed? Her character might as have been named "Vaginal Plot Point". Meanwhile, Mark Wahlberg is rocking all these awesome one-liners, and it's not fair! I want to shoot Matt Damon and make jokes about Alec Baldwin's mom! What about my dreams?

The reason I love Juno so fervently is because I wanted to be Juno. No mental gender-swapping neccessary. Ellen Page's Juno was just awesome personified. She could have taken any of those Apatow boys to school. Who else would scream "THUNDERCATS ARE GOOOO!!!" when their water breaks? Juno rules.

I love this movie. I wanted to stand up in the theatre and shout "They got it! They finally got it!". I wanted to grab strangers on the street and tell them all about this near-religious cinema experience. I want the whole world to see this movie. I want it to make truckloads of money. I want Diablo Cody to win an Oscar. I just want this movie to prove that women can sell movies. I am making it my personal mission to spread the word about Juno, and you can help! Tell your mom. Tell your mom to tell her friends. Then, tell your friends and your friends' moms and tell your friends' moms to tell their friends. With your help, the world can become wrapped in a warm Juno embrace. One nation, under Juno.

Seriously, go see Juno.

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3 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

What were the words hung in the nursery

10:36 PM  
Blogger Lesbianlife said...

I am going. I am going...thank you for the prompt! Sometimes I just need a swift kick!

12:55 PM  
Blogger Amanda said...

re anonymous:

(mildly spoilerish): If I remember correctly, it was the note Juno left the Jennifer Garner character. It read along the lines of "If you're still in, I'm still in".

10:09 PM  

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