Saturday, October 13, 2007

Morning Comfort Apex: IT COULD HAPPEN TO YOU!

I should be at Actorfest right now. I should be prowling the Hammerstein ballroom armed with a stack of 8x10s, promoting the shit out of myself and rising another level in my career.

At this moment, I should be actively bettering myself. At this moment I am still in bed.

I have a theory that on days when you absolutely need to get up early, your bed will adjust itself to be more comfortable. It's true! Even if you've been tossing and turning all night, the moment you NEED to be awake your bed will turn on the charm, whisper sweet nothings, and seduce you into decadent repose. On the day of that big audition, don't expect to spring to life with the verve and pep of a manga heroine. At 5:00 in the morning a futon covered in egg crate can feel like a fluffy cloud and a discount bed set from Conway can feel like Jesus himself spooning you. What chance do you have?

I call this phenomenon "Morning Comfort Apex" (MCA).

There are many ways to combat MCA. I find that setting my alarm to the Spanish radio station on a very high volume is highly effective. It wakes up not only me, but also my roommate, her cat, the birds on the fire escape, our neighbors, our landlady, our building, all of Sunnyside, the surrounding burroughs, parts of Staten Island, and NASA astronauts. Yet sometimes, even with the aid of the loudest, most incomprehensable Spanish popular music, the MCA is strong. In the end it's you versus MCA. There can be only one. You can either fight or surrender.

Today, I surrendered.

MCA + chilly autumn morning รท Saturday = snowball's chance in hell. MCA made me her bitch, and I loved it.

I struggle with MCA almost on a daily basis. There is no medication, no support groups to aid me. I must fight the beast alone. I must fight until one day MCA lays at my feet: broken, bleeding, begging for mercy. On that day I will look down at my vanqished enemy as it appeals to my good heart and better sense of self. On that day I will consider my enemy's pitiable case, and then I will kick it. And laugh.

May you be as successful in your fights with MCA. Namaste.

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4 Comments:

Blogger Billychic said...

Man-oh-man I can dig what you're saying...I love that you gave this medium that I find myself enveloped in more often than I'd like to admit, a name.

Some days, no matter what call of responsibility or importance can get you up and out. For me, it's very much the same; then add three cats and a little dog all spooned up around you snoring. It's just too good.

When winter gets here, I'll be fucked. I'll be lucky if I leave my house.

On that note - dude, I should have seen that Actorfest thing - I'm such an asshole. I was actually up Saturday morning...I need to be more aware of those opportunities.

9:51 AM  
Anonymous Kat said...

Oh, so that's what it's called. I knew there was some reasonable explanation for the fact that when I've had insomnia, ALL NIGHT LONG, that 30 minutes before I am supposed to get up, I can actually get to sleep!

To rid myself of MCA, I'm trying a shot of whiskey 30 minutes before bedtime! I'll let you know if it works. If it doesn't, I'm sure my mood will be improved anyway.

7:06 PM  
Blogger Billychic said...

HAHAHAHA

NICE!
Yeah, regardless of whether or not it works, the whiskey will be a major bonus. I think I need to add that to my routine.

9:19 PM  
Anonymous Kat said...

I took one shot of whiskey last night. Nothing. So I took 2 shots. That worked. But if I do that every night I wonder if I'll be considered a lush?! Oh who gives a shit if I can sleep?! Felt good this morning too! :-)

4:09 PM  

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