i don't like people part 1

i had to write a check at my pathetic library. my madonna books were overdue. oddly they were due 9/11, the day the show started production... i should've renewed them and saved the $15 but i digress...

my pen ran out of ink writing a seperate check to replace my lost card. so i felt sad, my pen died. not that sad, but a twinge of dead pen sadness.

i go to citibank next to deposit checks. both pens were inkless. a guy came in and then was gone shortly, i didn't want to request a pen.

then a woman came in, and she tried the pen and asked me if the other one worked. i said no, and she asked if i had a pen. i said no, mine ran out of ink... she said she might have an eyeliner or lipliner, and started to rummage in her bag. she pulled out a shiny pen and said,'cool! look!' and she started to write.

then she turned and walked to the machine and i said,'can i borrow that pen?'

and she said,'i don't lend things to people.' WHAT THE FUCK?

so i sat there for fifteen minutes coaxing enough ink out of my pen to fill out the deposit slip, trying not to be furious about the pen bitch. lol.... she borrows but doesn't lend. oh well.

then later im on the corner somewhere and realize i'm behind jacobsen my downstairs neighbor. (that joe thought im friends with! he's a penis face) we make eye contact for a second and then i shut my eye and started to rub it, pretending i didn't see him. he ran away.

i think he was out jogging though. i just look like i fried my hair in boiling peanut oil, and stood under a hot air popcorn popper's ass.

i'm not stopping to chat with anyone. so i got 'anxiety for dummies'. my library is very aesthetically pleasing, but as for actual contents?

i found myself in the true crime section ready to grab some anne rule case files. then i realized that this is stupid. i used to read about murderers to hopefully avoid one if i met one. clearly, it didn't help me.

i mean i didn't get murdered, but i would say thisclose. also reading that isn't postive, not so much. i found 'the power of now' which i have wanted for a long time... i found it accidentally.

so i feel it was serendipty because i had flat out forgotten about that book- and i very much want to read it.

It's "A guide to spiritual enlightenment " perhaps easier on my brain than serial killers and pedophile rapists.