Sunday, July 22, 2007

A Waitress' Hell

I hate the word "cunt." But tonite, I could use no other to describe this stupid bitch at the restaurant. It sux to be a waitress. I mean it hard-core SUX! People have no idea what it is to appreciate the opportunity to be serviced to through a course of a wonderfully delicious (did I spell that right?) meal. So night after night I usually experience one or two pain-in-my asses. Tonight was no exception.

Unfortunately, my partner in crime for the evening came to work sick, and after moaning and groaning for two to three hours about how he thought he was just not going to making it through the night, he finally agreed to go home. Ok, no problem. That left me to the opportunity to serve the entire restaurant, including a party that was planning to come later on. This party would be upstairs, mind you, and just to set up all the circumstances I ended up working two floors of tables the whole night. As good of a worker as I am (I deserve especially after tonight to praise my fat ass) I was killing out there: totally in control of all my tables, not missing one beat.

The night is dying down. The party upstairs, who is loving every aspect of the night including the food, the service, etc. decides they want to split the bill 11 ways. Oh no! This does not happen; that's too many little things to remember. No, it's just not gonna fly by me. So I kindly tell them, the bill cannot be split into individual checks, but I can give a grand total and people can leave someone money as a contribution. I run downstairs to look at the check, and just looking at the screen I saw a total. Thinking it was the correct total, it would include tip for a party larger than 6 people, I verbally told them the number. Then, because this woman was too drunk to figure simple math out (I wouldn't doubt she is too stupid when she's sober too), she asked me how much would that calculate to be individually. I gave an APPROXIMATE number. However, I decided to go get the check for them as a point of reference. I came back upstairs, realizing the total I verbally gave was different than that on the check (the total I gave before DID NOT include tip like I thought) I announced that i brought up the bill and the numbers were a little different but everything is explained on the check. Would you not assume at this point too that human intelligence would kick in and they would just review everything to make sure all their service was complete and just pay the bill?

Well never assume shit in a restaurant. Especially with large parties. This drunk-ass cunt (again I never before have used the word "cunt") comes sloshing downstairs and just can't comprehend the bill. To make an already long story shorter, she complained so much about $88 difference from my VERBAL total to the actual total that I ended up losing my entire tip from the party. That stupid bitch stole my money, and the funniest part is that shoe stole from her friends too. At one point earlier I went upstairs and announced on this cunt's behalf that I made a verbal mistake and would need to collect $10 more from everyone. No problem. But given the final closing deals, the cunt bitches to her delight about how she ended up paying $100 more than what she was supposed to. She's swearing she'll never eat here again, she's calling the owners to complain, blah blah blah. Finally, I just wanted her to get the fuck out of my territory so I said she can have her stupid tip back; I didn't want her blood money (can I use that in this context? I did anyway, so what). So technically she stole from me and her friends, assuming everyone gave the extra $10.

But lets move on to karma. Yes, I didn't make good money from the evening due to the cuntness of this whore, but she'll get her pay. I'm a firm believer that superhuman forces of this nature will make a balance among good and evil. What will this woman get? I do not know. I don't even wish anything on her (well, ok maybe I do wish something, but I'm not gonna say it out might haunt me) but I trust something in her life will occur and force her to stop and reflect on this event in her life and regret ever putting someone as nice as I am through such a horrid experience. So send your prayers, do an extra voodoo doll move, or whatever you believe in, please say something for my benefit. For the benefit of all us servers out there. We work damn hard to earn a buck or two.


Blogger Full Frontal Honesty said...

My hats off to those with the stamina to be a waitress. It's a job I could never do. And for the record, I LOVE the word cunt... it's one of the few words left that has any shock value whatsoever.

10:42 AM  
Blogger Billychic said...

Oh! I love that word! It's one of my favorites, actually...

Sorry your night sucked so bad, sweetie - I waited tables for 8 years and met many people like that...all you can do is hope that they get crabs. lol

11:46 AM  
Anonymous George W. said...

You fucked up, don't blame others for your mistakes. You should never, never, tell orally the total amount to a large party of drunken girls. They are going to fuck up, and you, as it happened, ended up fucked up.

5:34 PM  
Blogger acturhrtout24 said...

Thanks George W. Said for reminding how much I hate your administration and "logical" thinking. I never blamed another person for my mistake, in fact I accepted my mistake, but it was an honest one and to take full advantage of such a minute human error is really fucking shitty. How do you say "nuclear"? Exactly, shut the hell up!

1:45 PM  

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