Mission Impossible: Being a Normal Parent

This just arrived in my mailbox from POPBITCH, one of my favorite sources for bitchy, nasty commentary on those little snippets you may or may not find in the news about celebrities and current events:

Tom Cruise was recently watching his son Connor play football at his school. Tom spent much of the first period of play engrossed in his Blackberry, but looked agitated when he realised Connor's team was losing. At the interval, Tom walked on to the pitch, brushed past the coach and gave the team talk himself.

Why do I not find this surprising?

I feel so, so sorry for his son. That must have been so embarassing...imagine the scenario - and what it was like when we were kids. If my parents would have done something like that, I would have been mortified.

But if my dad was a walking joke like Tom Cruise? Regardless of the money and fame...

I'd be interested to poll the kids in that unfortunate team - how many of them were thinking which of the following things:

1. Isn't that the guy who was in the closet on South Park?
   
2. Wow! Cool! Someone freakier than Divine is trying to coach us - but he's feeding us a bunch of shit instead of eating it!
   
3. I wish this guy would shut up and let our coach back in the game.
   
4. I'm SO going to kill Conner when his dad isn't looking
   
5. If we win, maybe Tom Cruise will give us all money like he did all those rabid fans at the MI 3 screening
   
6. Is he looking at my ass?
   

I mean, does Tom Cruise have any fans left in the United States? Probably, but I bet even they make fun of him.

It's just too bad he couldn't leave his ego at home, even for his kid's football game. I think he's really lost it - gone over the edge...
Eh, who hasn't.