Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Birthday is Approaching...(T-Minus 2 Days)

...and I'm freaking out. Again.

Those of you who know me long enough know that I do this every year. My Peter Pan complex kicks in and I lose it. The only way to get past it is booze, pills, pot, and a good lay.

Or a really good vampire novel.

But this birthday...is the big 3-5.

Mid-thirties. Hm. Wow. Okay.
Nope. Not buying it. Sorry...

Here's what I thought I'd have/be by this age:
1) A husband
2) At least two kids
3) My own home
4) Some kind of profession in the theatrical/entertainment industry
5) A menagerie of pets
6) Famous on some kind of level...

Here's what I have/have had by this point:
1) I've had TWO husbands. Unfortunately, I just don't have one now.
2) The menagerie of pets have become my kids and I have 4.
3) I rent an apartment that allows my landlord to have me by the shorthairs.
4) I peddle books. Yeah, yeah, I have a great health care package, so whatever, but my entertainment industry stuff is all outside of what I get PAID for.
5) The only thing I'm famous for is in Mississippi for how many bong hits I could do.

Um, did I miss the boat somewhere? This is becoming strangely reminiscent of a Pink Floyd song. I could remember the name of it, if only I wasn't getting so GODDAMN OLD that my memory wasn't going (that and all the meds I'm taking).

Fuck me.


Blogger Cadaverous Nun said...

This was hilarious. It gets better after 40. Trust me.

Actually, don't. I don't know what I'm talking about.

12:36 PM  

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home