Thursday, May 03, 2007

Nutrisystem: My New Salvation

Okay, some of you know that in March I finally got fed up with the weight I had gained after being sick so long with Benign Positional Vertigo and Vestibular Migraines - two things that combined, made me just sit and eat and not move too much, lest the whole room be in a tailspin.

Oh, yeah - and there was that tragic accident with the Swiss Colony catalogue and all the food that found its way into my apartment during that time...I was eating cheese logs and brownies, hitting the remote control, and making Jabba the Hutt look like Twiggy. I had cheesecake crumbs everywhere and boxes of chocolates that originally I meant to give as gifts that made their way to my ass instead.

But I digress...

So, in the middle of March I ordered and received the Nutrisystem diet. Being the web rat and internet junkie that I am, you can rest assured the author was online checking out chat rooms and other venues of reliable *cough* sources of information to get an idea of what others thought of this diet. More people than not totally trashed it.

"Man, the food totally sucked. It tasted like cardboard."
"I didn't lose nearly as much weight as I thought I would."
"Man, the food totally sucked. It tasted like cardboard."
(uh...did I mention that one already?)

So, although I was considering getting it, I was prepared for it to arrive and totally taste like ass.

But, I was also fully aware that a lot of these people were comparing a diet that is mostly meals that are based around convenience (almost all the dinners are microwaveable) and low cal (small portions) to what they were already eating...which, if they were anything like me, meant that they were a bunch of fat bastards chowing down on pizza and the Swiss Colony catalogue, and how the hell do you compare with that????

There were also a lot of success stories. And to be honest, I needed help. ANY help, and with that, and a few greenbacks, I made my first order - which arrived pretty quick.

I was like a kid at Christmas, opening the box of dinners, lunches, breakfasts - and dig it: desserts. Dude. I totally get to eat chocolate every single night if I want to. Megatron super yum chocolate, too - not some nasty fake stuff.

And check it out: the food tastes great. You add a protein and fruit or vegetable to almost every meal, so it's also getting me to eat healthier again. I eat lasagna, stir-fry, mac n' cheese (I dig on that big time)...when you add the meals they give you with the proteins (yogurt/milk/cottage cheese, etc) and veggies, you're totally full. I am eating and happy and groovy.

Let the results speak for themselves: I have lost 17 pounds so far in less than 2 months (combined with going back to the gym again like three-five days a week) and I'm eternally stoked. I feel healthier and happier than I have in months and months. And do I look better?

Uh, jah.

Before, you could have balanced a six-pack on my ass along with an ashtray and an hors d'oeuvres tray...maybe could have even squeezed in Hervé Villechaize along for the ride.

Now, I'm gettin' the PR Pimp Booty back...and diggin' it.

So, if you want to lose some weight and get a little healthier, I recommend: get thyself to the gym and order some Nutrisystem. It's working for me...


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