Why I Hate the Puerto Rican Day Parade

Let me start off by saying that I'm half-Puerto Rican. Most of the relatives that I have, or, at least, that I know, are P.R. or a hearty blend. My brothers are half Puerto Rican and half Cuban. I speak Spanish and love that part of my heritage. I'm very proud of my roots and love hispanic culture.

That said, why in the world would I hate a day (week, in fact, that culminates into one day) of celebration in NYC of my Latin heritage? There are several reasons, but I'll start with one main one that really burns my ass.

I often get "Wow, you don't look Puerto Rican (Latin, whatever)." I look very much like the English/Irish part of me. My great-grandparents on my father's side (the P.R. side) are actually from Spain, so I have a mish-mosh; but if one knows what to look for, you can tell that I've got some Latin in me without a doubt. My father's whole family is light-skinned (the Spain-to-P.R. bit) so we all get that.

So, the times when I have tried to get involved and celebrate on this glorious day when all of my P.R. brethren are boogeying to Salsa and basically acting like drunken Irishmen on St. Patrick's day, I often get treated with racism and discrimination like you wouldn't believe. I'm not "dark" enough, nor am I fluent in Spanish well enough to speak rapidly. I once wore P.R. colors and a little flag, and was given more than my share of evil eyes and nasty stares by Latina girls; their dark curls and gold chains almost as impressive as their four kids and their moustaches.

Some folks reading this may say "Well, fine, white girl; now you get a taste of the other end of the stick - experience a little racism since it's usually the whites that are the racist jerks." -- well, I agree with the latter part of that statement, but here's my response to the first part of it: kiss my ass. I don't treat people that way and I don't expect to be treated that way. I hate the fact that I am half Puerto Rican and will get treated like shit by PRs that "look Puerto Rican" at this festival, but someone else who could be...say... full Dominican (and DRs and PRs seem to have this animosity towards each other, go figure) could go and everyone would assume that they had more of a right to be there than me. What the FUCK is that all about? Who said that someone who is Puerto Rican isn't white? Or is only darker skinned? There are white, brown, black PR people. Another thing I hate is that "white, non-hispanic" thing that I always get corralled into checking on applications for things. Christ, what happened to "White, mix-o-stuff?"

Today I was walking by a bunch of guys today who were walking in my neighborhood, coming back from the PR Parade in Manhattan. There is a large Hispanic community around here, and with the great weather, there have been several mini-celebrations all week; the P.R. flag flying and people wearing bandannas, etc. Somebody was playing Latin music and I started to boogie a little while I was walking. The Latino guys said in Spanish "she dances like she thinks she's Latina" and then made a comment that suggested that a white girl who dances like that might be good enough to bang.

So...yeah, I hate the Puerto Rican Day Parade and the whole fucking day. Mainly for the racism that I have to put up with. Let's face it: these kinds of celebratory days that are based around a nationality or specific country can get really out of control, because all it does is give folks a reason to get shitfaced and act like socially retarded individuals in the name of their heritage. The possibilites are endless in relation to bumping into an asshole because everyone who has that nationality or culture in their family tree is out that day getting hammered. This includes St. Patty's Day - but I'll tell you: I may deal with a drunken bastard who hits on me or pukes on me, but I don't deal with someone giving me shit because my Gaelic is non-existent or my hair isn't red enough.