Thursday, June 08, 2006

99 and Holding?

On myspace I don't usually use my actual age, because then I come up easily in searches. Whether it's a dirty old man, or a dirty little boy they are going to write something I definitely do *not* want to read.


I had recently used the age '56'. I had a few young men offering to have 'sex with me if i take them out' which I found mildly amusing. I received a multitude of friend requests for 'over 55 dating services' that had profiles. I finally decided today that this would be the one time I'd rather be 99.

Not long after, a 20 something girl writes,"You are so hott! How old are you, really?"

I responded that I was 36. So she quicky writes back and asks if my pictures are 15 years old or something. I responded no, not at all but thank you I guess. So she then responded telling me that I have a really talented doctor.

The conversation ended right there. I can't say if I'm glad she thought I looked young enough to have a 'good doctor' or dismayed that I'm an age where people would react that way. Well, at 29 I recall people saying,"Oh man, you don't look THAT old."

At 23 I had an agent for clubs I worked at. He wanted me to be in magazines which I never did. He said I had such a sweet and fresh look, but was 'over the hill' for Playboy. He said I was 'no 19 year old', he was a lecherous 50 something man who called himself... well, his last name was 'Savage'. Savage my 36 year old chunky ass.

Anyway, what's my point? Fuck age. It's one of those things you just can do nothing about, and over time it just keeps getting more and more out of hand. Like I remember my sister's thirtieth birthday party at some place on Varick St. and Leonard like it was yesterday, but it was 19 fucking 94. She's not 30 like I think here and there, she'll be 42 this month. I'm no early twenties neophyte. Not like I was one in my early twenties exactly.

The catch is this: My outside and my insides are not copasetic as a team. I have not felt decent a day since my jaw got totalled in 1997. That's among other things, more other things than I'd ever care to list. I should look like Medusa at this point. Maybe that's the one bone I've been thrown. I might prefer to be a really healthy and pain free hag face, oh and also not be neurotic. It's 3:15 am, I should just STFU already... sorry.

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