Thursday, June 08, 2006

Anti-Trendiness is the New Black

These people aren't for real. They can't be. They just can't!

Oh, who the fuck am I kidding? Of course they're for real. And knowing how a lot of people think these days, they probably honestly believe they're fighting for a very seriously important cause, too. Because, I mean, conformity is wrong, is it not?


For a very long time I have needed some sort of kick up the arse to write about this. Not the anti-iPod brigade themselves....fuck, I didn't even know they existed till a couple of days ago....but the sickening trendiness of the 'anti-trendy' set. Let's back things up a bit, shall we? Knowing the way my rants go, we might never actually get back to the anti-iPod people, but then again, we really don't need to, do we? They did their job by giving me my entre, and they're whoring their own selves plenty, so they really don't need any more of my help.

Now, I have to admit, not too long ago, I used to be a die-hard Anti-Trendy. I would not buy name-brands. Read fashion magazines (but only in the shops, wouldn't DARE give those WHORES a penny of my hard-earned booze money!) and did exactly the opposite of everything they said. I even went so far as to abruptly STOP doing anything that became trendy, even if it was something I'd been doing for years and years earlier. I was out-of-control. And even though I knew that on some level, the 'mainstream' was controlling me and my actions, I kept it up for way longer than was sensible, because, well, I just could not have people mistaking me for one of them.

But then one day I grew the fuck up. Okay, maybe not totally, but in this area anyway. I didn't want people to think I was one of them? If I'm really so fucking anti-establishment, I wonder, why the hell do I even care what they think? Oh, yeah....that's right....if I was, then I wouldn't. Anyone whose opinion matters (and there aren't too many of them) knows I'm not a trend-chasing jackass, and everyone else can suck my proverbial cock. Living in society, we all eventually end up doing, buying, and/or using things that support the 'establishment', so anyone who claims they don't is an even bigger poser than the trendies they're protesting. At this point in my life not too many people care what the fuck I do, buy, or wear, since the very fact that I do do, buy, or wear it at this age makes it uncool by default, so I will be damned if I'm going to waste one more minute of my time bending over backward to resist 'The Man'.

But that's just me. And to be honest, as sick to death of myself and my poser-ism I was, I didn't have to make too many changes to myself to end my BS once and for all. After a while of actually LOOKING at OTHER people, often younger people, but more upsettingly, people my own age as well, I realise that some folks aren't just posers, they're bloody delusional. I mean, covertly buying Top 40 CDs? Buying name-brands from the popular retail chains at full price and either ripping off or covering-up the logos? And most recently and possibly funniest of all, buying those taboo top-of-the-line iPods and then running out to replace those horrendous, telltale (and really good quality if you ask me) white earphones with generic black ones. These guys are almost as ridiculous as anyone who'd use the 'anti-trendy' bent to whore their own overpriced, lower-quality product. (Heh....would you look at that....I DID manage to get back on topic!) What exactly are these people hoping to accomplish by their actions? I have no idea myself, but all I see them doing is supporting EVIL BIG BUSINESS while posing as all punk and outsider-ish, or whatever the fuck they want us all to think they are....because when it comes right down to it, all that really matters is what random passerby think of you, right? Great then. Because I think you're a fucking idiot.

To close, and to honestly and truly get back to iPod, I fucking love my iPod. I am not an Mac Geek (talk about trendy) or anything else of the sort, but I am a music addict and a gym rat, and I need my music to be with me 24/7. I need music when I'm walking the street alone, because goddamn it if the herds of Sheeple and the honking car horns don't make it damned near impossible to concentrate on where the hell I'm going. I need as much of my music as possible to be contained in as compact a case as possible, and I need that case to have as long a battery life as possible. I need it to be easy to load from any computer in any place, and easy to recharge. I don't want it to require tons of extra accessories to make it work. And my skinny little 30 gig iPod meets all those requirements. So what if everyone else has one? I have one, I like it, and that's all there is to it.

I make up for it thousand times over in thrift store purchases anyway, so who the fuck cares?

(I've never bought one solitary item from The Gap in my entire life! Love me!)


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