Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Howdy Hi There

I guess the best place to start is always with introductions, so let me get right to it.

I am Derfina, aka Jackie.  I write a blog called Life in the River here.  I am just tickled silly to have been invited to contribute to Ornery Women.  I'm not sure just exactly what I will be adding to the pot, but I tend to use a lot of garlic when I cook, so hopefully it will be savory enough for you to want to come back for more.  Hmm.  Food metaphors this morning.  Mayhaps I should nosh on something before I write instead of drinking coffee and getting stoned.

I live a charmed life.  In retrospect, that is.  Most of the time, myne is probably just as sticky and full of bumps and potholes as yours, but when I sit back and reflect on it, I am just the luckiest person I know, because it all seems to work out in the end, and when it's all over, the bumps and potholes and sticky messes seem much more funny than they felt when they were happening, and I'm all about fun.

I live in a tiny little houseboat in Podunk, Mississippi, where the summers are looong and sweaty and sweet.  I live with my husband Johnny, who is referred to as the Innocent Bystander in my blog, but will probably be referred to by his original tag, the Unit, here.  He is a captain of a jackup barge (self elevating work liftboat) and currently works in Nigeria, although he's also worked in Trinidad, Venezuela and here in the States in the Gulf of Mexico.  He is also currently doing some research on a job possibility in India, but that is just now being bandied about so it is not on my radar at the moment.

The Unit is one of the main sources of funny in my life.  He is the schmear on my bagel most of the time, and the rest of the time I just tune him out.  We also have three birds, so tuning out is a good ability to have-three parrots in a tiny houseboat with no carpet can be...shrill.  So I guess my filters were reversed.  Instead of a mouth filter I got ear filters.  I can turn my ears on and off at will.  *snort*

The Unit is cool.  He has little pet names for me.  Besides derfina, there's noodle, wiggle (ugh), beavis and my personal favorite, pretty.  (I'm not.  No one's ever gnawed their arm off to get out of bed with me, but I'd go more with plain than pretty.  But plain would not be a good pet name, now would it?  Hey, plain.  Nah.  I  like pretty.)

I have cute little pet names for him, too.  Hoss, Dude, Asshole and Dickhead are a few of MY favorites.  He'll answer to just about anything.  He's groovy like that.

I have some friends who are recurring characters in my little blogging world.  The Purv is one.  She has been my friend since high school, and I am planning a post devoted specifically to her on my blog, but some things have to stew longer than others if you want them to come out just right, so that is still a work in progress.  She is very understanding about the fact that when the Unit is home, our friendship goes into a kind of holding pattern, as we are a labor intensive couple-when he is off, he is off 24/7, so we are together just about every minute of every day.  But as soon as he leaves, we pick right back up where we left off.

There are also myne wyves.  First Wyfe prolly would have been my lyfemate had she or I been born with a dick.  We don't get to see each other much anymore, because I made her run away from home many many years ago to be with her Boogerschmearer of a husband.  My bad, and I pay for it every day I don't get to see her.  Second wyfe works at the orthopaedic clinic where I used to work, and I love her dearly and I want to take care of her and make sure no one ever hurts her EVER and again, I pay every day for the fact that I am too lazy to get off my ass and go see her more often.  (But then, she could come see me, too, yes?  Roads go both ways, no?)  I also have a wonderful boobielicious candidate whom I am grooming to be myne third wyfe. ^^groucho eyebrows^^ 

And then there are my bitches.  At one point when I was still working, I had about a dozen.  Now they are down to two, The Blonde One and The Serious One.  The Gaited One is still out there somewhere, but she seldom joins us when we have a margarita night.  I drink with my bitches.  I snark with them too.  They are wonderful in that they love me despite the fact that I let them down on a regular basis.  They are beautiful strong womyn who don't need me to take care of them, so they don't qualify as wyves, but I would stand in front of a train for any one of them, even those who have gone on to bigger and better things who I haven't seen in years.

These are the basics.  I'm not sure how often I'll be blogging here.  When the Unit leaves, I will have some time to dry out, and once I have two non alcohol soaked brain cells to rub together I will figure out some kind of schedule where I work over here two or three days a week and the rest of the time concentrate on my blog.  Who knows.  I've been known to spread myself too thin, though, so I am not going to make any commitments that I can't keep.  I hope.  As I've been known to say probably way to often:  We shall see.

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Saturday, October 25, 2008

I Present My New Kitten! Miss Laretta (Kincaid)

Photo: Dale Harris

Well, I didn't go with little Rain, the kitty I mentioned that was available for adoption from www.zanisfurryfriends.org that I found on Petfinder.com - that I mentioned in a previous post; things didn't work out that way. The lady who was fostering her was in Long Island, they were going to have to come over and do a "house check" - which I don't fault them for, that's understandable; but I have been adopting and owning pets for 16 years and I just don't have time to wait for them to bring her over just to see if I liked her...and then have a complete stranger come into my house and tell me "your place is a shithole and not good enough for our pet" - because, to be honest, my place is not the epitome of Better Homes & Gardens.

However, my pets seem to dig it, and they seem to dig having a Mom who loves them and makes sure that they get to eat before she does. Considering that I saved all these critters (I have four, now including Miss Laretta)from either death or living in a cage, and that they get the best food and health care...well, that speaks for itself. I was not responsible for Nina getting cancer and dying. I have to accept that...and move on. Did she have symptoms? Sure, but I am not a vet and I didn't see them. I did drop 6k on her two years ago to save her from diabetes and got two extra years of life out of her and gave her shots religiously twice a day for two years...so I think I'm a good pet owner.

Anyhoo, I hope that Rain finds a home - she looks really precious and please click on the link above and check her out for yourself or someone you know.

Here's the story on Miss Laretta: I was, after a weekend in which I was despondent over things in my life, leaving for work and heading toward the train at Union Square. On one side is the subway station, where I was intending to go. On the other side, is a Petco that has a KittyKind adopting station, where you'll find anywhere up to 25 cats in cages, many kittens, waiting for a new home. As I started walking towards the train, my feet suddenly seemed to have a life of their own and I headed in the opposite direction - toward the Petco.

An hour later, I emerged, beaming, with a small little girl kitten in a carrier...headed for home with me.

She is four months and two weeks. I have named her Laretta in honor of my old friend Larry C. Sullivan, a.k.a. Laretta Kincaid to his close friends. Her name in the shelter was "Loretta" and it seemed like a perfect idea to me.

She is a spunky little critter and I adore her...and the other pets are taking to her just fine. Spud is starting to groom her.

I think all is right with the world.

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Moving Up and Onward...and the Setbacks.

Artwork by Augie Pagan

It's so hard to examine oneself when you :

1) Think you're kind of a mental fuckup even though you think you're relatively okay compared to some of the whack jobs out there
2) Think you're being stupid for getting upset when you come across photos of your ex...two months after you've broken up (granted, from the night we broke up, and right next to pics of my cat Nina who passed right afterwards)
3) Feel one day like you're doing FINE and the next, well, today I guess, like you are not FINE and wondering how the FUCK did that happen?
4) You are very different than you used to be in post-breakup mode; an almost asexuality has descended up on me like a wet blanket.

I think, since my descent into and subsequent emergence out of the nether regions of my mind a couple of weeks ago that brought with it panic attacks, intense depression, and a feeling that I would never again be okay, I have started really to get so much better. I have had all this great stuff happen for me: the article about my being an acting teacher and my philosophy in the New York Examiner, my being added as a staff writer for TheFabMarquee.com, and the putting together of the fundraiser, readings, and all those things that come with trying to stay busy and being successful at it - on top of taking on more work from my day job so I stay late - and it has really helped.

But all that is questioned when you can get thrown off balance just by accidently coming across photos of yourself with your ex on the night you broke up, that you had forgotten about, wedged next to pics of your dead kitty. I find myself hoping sleep will come quickly and I can get off this train to self-pity and mourning.

Mourning for what? My cat, yes; she was my baby girl. I will be having a new cat come by for a visit that I found on petfinder.com - her name is Rain and she's a tortie-maine coone mix, about 2.5 years old. Since I'm running a geriatric center over here for animals, I need to get some young ones or else when they all start to kick the bucket I'll have to be locked up. But mourning for my relationship? Still?

I'm not used to this. I'm older now...and I'm amazed that it takes so much longer...even though months ago I knew that this man and I were destined to only be friends, that we just wouldn't be able to make it work, although I desperately wanted to because he was only one of three people since my ex husband and I parted ways that had been a kind, loving person who didn't just want me for a piece of ass.

Getting over and getting beyond...it seems to come only in spurts. What do I have to do, lock myself in a room and avoid all audio/visual stimulation in case Brad finds his way into it?

We talked on the phone for the first time in a week today; second time in two weeks, as per my prompting that I just couldn't talk to him and recover. But we spoke like 10-15 times and at one point, it was like we were having conversations that we used to have: how to help him pick out a printer...things like that.

It really was okay until I saw those pictures. Then my mind went into a gridlock.

Artwork by Clint Scism
I know eventually I will be okay, but want that to be now, because I have to be around this guy a lot over the next few days and suddenly I just want to stay at home and not go anywhere, not be anywhere near him, for I am afraid that I will cry. And the strange thing is, is that if he suddenly said to me, "Dianna, everything was a big mistake, we should try another chance," I know that it wouldn't be worth it because it wouldn't work. He can't give me what I want...and I can't do the same. We can give love and friendship and loyalty...but sometimes that isn't enough.

And I want to know, when those things aren't even enough...what is everything worth anymore? Just sex? Just pet dander and allergies?

I have to now spend the rest of my evening trying to forget these past two hours...and try to move on. I have a man in my life who adores me and I adore him, but I can't be intimate with him because I have this fucking block. It's not fair.

I just want to move on like Brad has.

Couple of things I want to just say, for the record:
1) I'm so sorry that my first time at a Yankee Game in old Yankee Stadium was with him. On the night we broke up. I am forever disgusted by that and will try to really think of the next time I go to a game as the "real" time.
2) I'm so sorry that my first cruise was with someone who I was broken up with two months later. And that during that cruise my hopes for our relationship were suddenly increased to the point that I thought it was actually going to work...only for it to come crashing down.
3) I'm almost sorry I met him...and then have to say no...THAT was worth it. For it was. I just wish that so many firsts for me were not with him - for I really don't think he was worthy of being "my first" of anything...since he never gave enough of himself to me like I gave to him. He tried...but his giving of himself and my giving of me are like night and day.

Sigh. Sorry to bore...but I'm sad and angry at my being sad. That's what sucks...when you can't even cut yourself a break.

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Thursday, October 16, 2008

Fare Thee Well, Nikki!

We say goodbye to Nikki, who has contributed some insightful and intense articles on this blog site, but who, as per her final entry here on the site a few down, seems to feel that she doesn't jive with the others on here. We have lost some other people either due to time commitments, difference in opinions, or due to their cover being blown and some will be joining again at a later date, perhaps under a different name.

But I suppose that in starting this site, I wanted to make it a place for women to vent, while still being able to also have the option to just talk about important things going on in their lives. Perhaps this site isn't "Ornery" enough for certain people...or the writers.

Either way, I also don't want to alienate the blogging community and have this site labeled as a bunch of cunty writers who go to other women's blogs, leave comments that are somewhat insulting (calling them fat, etc), and then use this blog as a launch-pad for a rant on them or their philosophy. There is differing in opinion and writing about it - and then there is just lashing out. There are blogging meter sites out there that, unfortunately, link my name to the blog as the sole author, so when a post is written it says "Billychic wrote: ____"...and yes, I don't want to be responsible for certain posts that I think are too negative and draw negative attention to this site.

I want to entertain our readers as well as educate them, if possible, and I hope that all of the writers on this site share my opinion. I know that many of them do. However, writers on here have a responsibility to remember that they are representing this blog when they leave rude comments elsewhere and decide to expound on said comment...and if they wish to do so they can write that particular entry on their own blog. This doesn't necessarily apply to things like politics, etc - for that can get heated, and its supposed to; however, I would hope that we could all maintain a sense of decorum when we write - or leave comments on other writer's sites. The same way that I wouldn't allow a post that represents bigoted and racist rants (which I tell writers when they join) I also don't want us to write inflammatory material that alienates everyone completely. We can complain...we can even go tell someone from our personal lives to go get fucked. I do it quite often. But it seems to defeat the purpose of writing about how most women are such assholes...when this is a woman's site.

So, we wish Nikki all the best, and if you wish to read her writing, which I recommend you do, you can check her site: http://www.iamnotbitterbut.blogspot.com.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Royal Pink: A Chick Band for All Seasons - A New Monthly Sun Night Party!


Royal Pink, one of my fav chick bands in NYC, (they are so nice and so naughty) is playing a regular monthly gig on the Lower East Side at Mehanata (a.k.a. the bulgarian bar) - 113 Ludlow Street between Delancey & Rivington. There's one this Sunday, the 19th; doors open at 8.



From the email:
Are you ready for the queer punk dance party of your dreams? Because this Sunday night your pinks are playing at the first ever anonymous, the new and extremely fabulous monthly party at mehanata. Yes, it's a school night, but we know you will risk being a little sleepy on Monday morning in exchange for some quality debauchery. Here are the details:

please join us for the first night of a new monthly party:

a dance party for queerpunx and our friends.
bands. djs. plenty of dark corners.
wear something you can get dirty in.

sunday, october 19, 2008 – doors at 8 pm
and the third sunday of the month from now on

october 19 - MIX Festival closing night afterparty

featuring
Inner Princess (genderfuck/genrefuck punks)
Royal Pink (dirty-girl feminist rockers)
and more...

plus projections by the MIX Festival crew!

just $5

at mehanata (a.k.a. the bulgarian bar)
113 ludlow street between delancey & rivington
F/J/M/Z to delancey/essex; B/D/Q to grand; V to 2nd avenue

[inspired by - and we hope in the spirit of - Homocorps, the Clit Club, Rock n Roll Fag Bar, and all the other parties where the dance floor and the dark room are both alive and well]


NOW THAT SOUNDS LIKE A PAR-TAY.

:)

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Is 30 Really the New 20? I Sure As Hell Hope So.

So, I've accepted that fact that I'm not going to be a superstar by the age of 25. Partially because I'm already nearly 38, but also because I've gotten to know the industry like the back of my hand already, and find it startling that so much of it is about not just who you know (or who you blow) but also that you actually seem to get ahead if you're younger and less talented...and yes - skinny.

Look. I'm not just bitching because I just lost out on a part to someone else who, if she stands sideways, you might not see her; I wish her the best with keeping her boyish figure. Oh, and also the fact that I'm wondering if she's even old enough to have her period...

I am actually in a good age group, where there are lots of parts for women my age. The problem is that I might actually look too young (YAY!) so I have to compete for younger parts and then lose them to women that are more suitable for that age (NOT YAY!). I mean, it's not THAT bad - I've actually had another good year where between acting work and voice-over work I have been able to live comfortably (as long as I dont buy anything for myself or go on a vacation)...so I can say that I'm a working actor.

But when I go to an audition and see the sea of ladies that are younger...I try to chant the mantra that "30 is the new 20" in my head...and it just doesn't fly so well. The only thing I have on these other ladies is experience and acting ability (in most cases). Then there are the really talented young ladies that piss me off...because I am not above being jealous. But I'd rather lose the part to someone who can act, than someone who is just eye-candy.

Is that true? The 30-20 thing? Who came up with that? Some crusty old bat who was trying to deal with the same issues that I am? Because I'm approaching 40 and I don't know if they have the same mantra but in a size 30-40.

I also get discouraged because people don't take the work seriously. The just go from talking about what they had for dinner with a fellow auditioner, and then walk in. And sometimes they get the part. I am auditioning for people who were a baby when I was 18. It's a little weird. I applaud people for getting the gumption to try to make films or produce bdwy and off-bdwy shows when they are in their 20's - but I know part of the money is coming from their parent's trust fund - and I question why I'm even there when I would be willing to put money down that they couldn't tell you the difference between Elia Kazan, Tennessee Williams, or Jimmy Stewart.

But I might be just really assuming too much - except that when I try to have conversations with so many of the people I'm competing against and they have never read any Williams or seen a Hitchcock film, I have to ask myself: where is the industry going? Why am I here? And, most importantly, WTF?

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

How to Get My Mojo Back: What to do when you just don’t feel like the Rockstar you are


So, as you all (whomever reads my blogs and talks to me) know, my life has recently been in the shitter with my breakup with Bradlee and then my cat Nina dying all in like the same month. Needless to say, it all finally overcame me and I literally had a nervous breakdown a week ago...but I'm doing okay now. I actually went to a friend's party on Saturday (was a little nervous, didn't walk in with my usual "okay now the party started 'cause I'm here" swagger - possibly because I didn't know anyone except the host), and it was groovy: we watched 80's cartoons and ate breakfast and drank Mimosas.

Smokin'.

So, I'm starting to get back into being able to have a life...and to enjoy it...(with bouts of depression here and there)...but I ain't got my mojo, yo. I don't feel sexy. I don't feel...womanly. I feel like one of the Marge's sisters on the Simpsons.

Not Good.

I consider myself to be an attractive, intelligent, sexy, and relatively awesome person to hang out with kinda chick. I'm fun, funny, and lotsa people like me (or at least the ones who aren't talking behind my back while they act like they like me - sigh - fuckers)...however that's all intellectual. I don't feel it. It's like...imagine The Dude from The Big Lebowski suddenly not being the dude - well, The Dude without his carpet.

That's me. I'm a female sexual version of The Dude. Sounds weird, but ask my friends and they'll tell you it's true.

But I've lost my carpet. (ha - the references in here are getting interesting but unintentional, but please enjoy the fun) - and I don't mean that I necessarily have to go to Henrietta Hudson, although the thought is appealing...except...what, kids?

I LOST MY MOJO.

I'm not going to rant here on why; some know but I don't want to be rude to my ex, so we'll leave it at that. I might leave something juicy on OW, though...just a nugget. I mean, you can't break up with me and not get something written about you, as a couple of people know...even who became my friends again eventually.

SO HOW DO I GET MY MOJO BACK?

Stella got her groove...but I'm kinda in a bind here: having trouble even wanting to bump into someone else in a supermarket aisle let alone do a horizontal tango with one of several available lovers/exes that I could. And not because of my ex anymore...no. Because I lost my fucking carpet.

So. I gotta find it again.I guess cleaning my house a little this weekend helped. Now, off to clean my mind.

I Realized Something...

I've realized something. Women are content with their current status in society. I mean we pretty much have the same equal status in the workplace as men plus paid maternity leave plus we’re not expect to do any work that’s really that hard, like moving furniture or laying concrete, stuff like that. We’ve got whole departments in Universities dedicated to studying nothing but us, the spotlight is on us, we totally rock.

We rock so much that we can do anything men can do. We can be firefighters, we can be police officers, we can be soldiers, hell we can even be cagefighters (in some states). So a bunch of women get together to take the firefighters test back in the 80’s and EVERY SINGLE WOMAN FAILED THE TEST. Of course they sued the city and the city had to drop the standards of the test drastically or else be accused of discrimination. I’ll be fair, allegations showed that the test was slanted against the women, but most of those women were five freaking feet tall. I mean hey there’s five foot tall male firefighters, there’s nothing wrong with being five feet tall, as long as you can carry the average victim who is about 5’10” and 140-160lbs to safety, which is in the job description.

The Police Department was a bit more stingy on rules, they only dropped standards for the women at first. The women got angry and sued for discrimination, why should their standards be the only one’s lowered and why should their standards be lowered at all? The Police Department partially won the case citing that the standards were necessary for the job, but still had to drop standards for male candidates as well as females candidates and ended up dropping female standards even lower. The women lost their case because scientists claimed that it was physically impossible for a woman to be as strong as a man, hence their standards will always have to be half to 70% of what the male standard is, period, no arguments. So when the cities forced Police Departments to drop standards for male candidates as well as female candidates, they had to drop female candidate standards anyway. All because we wanted equality. Wow.

Then when the Military found itself the next one on the liberal feminism hit-list, it held its ground. It’s the freaking Military, they jump out of perfectly good airplanes and do pushups to get their food, in fact it’s rumored that in order to join Delta Force, you have to go into the wild in wintertime, kill a wolf and bring back it’s pelt (or wait that could have been a movie I saw involving Spartans). Our Military is the most hardcore organization on the planet, so it would not be intimidated by the itty-bitty ACLU. Wrong. The world’s greatest military was punched in the nuts and kicked in the kidneys because it didn’t only have to let women in, it had to let them practically get away with murder. Male candidates have to do at least 17 pushups to get into the Army, women only have to do, get this, 3. 3! And on top of that, the Military has to train them with the men, which would be great if they were actually made to keep up with them, but Drill Instructors were sued when the women couldn’t handle the yelling and hence the use of the “blue cards” was implemented in Basic Training (ask a soldier what a blue card is). To this day, the military has outlasted all of its civilian counterparts and maintained at least some of their dignity and high standards. Some of those Generals who fought and made their name in wars like Viet Nam would point M16’s at the liberals before sacrificing the integrity of their Unit’s to drop standards just “to be fair.” The Marines are still battling integrated basic training and have held on, and to this day, there are no women in combat arms. Congrats Uncle Sam, you ole’ hard-charger you.

It would seem that there is really no place a woman can go to be equal to a man and it would seem that it is scientifically impossible to anyway. However, women will find equality in the most unlikely of unheard of Government Agencies…

The US Forest Service, believe it or not, has some of the most elite firefighters in the world on its payroll. They’re Wildland Firefighters, they get dropped off in the middle of the brush with nothing but a handtool and 2 days worth of supplies and put out the really big, dangerous forest fires you see on TV. It is a given that somewhere around five of them will die each year in the US. If that aint combat, I don’t know what is. What makes the Forest Service so cool is that before women could join Los Angeles FD and fight house fires, they could be Wildland Firefighters. To this day, the only standard the Forest Service has for its crew’s is that they be able to do the work. It’s the responsibility of the Crew’s Captain to make sure their entire team is up to the physical level that the job requires. That means the crews PT together, and no one gets left behind, and if someone just can’t keep up after a certain amount of training, sorry, you gotta go because you’re a very real safety hazard.

Well hot damn these Firefighters are cool, how come they haven’t come under the same BS that the other cool agencies have? My honest opinion, probably because no one really knows about them that much, I mean it’s the Forest Service, don’t they like manage national parks or something? Most people associate the Forest Service with getting tickets from Park Rangers more than they associate it with one of the toughest jobs on the face of the planet. But the truth is that there are women in these jobs and they are hitting it up punch for punch with the men.

Same with the Coast Guard. The Coast Guard has never been exclusive. When the Rescue Swimmers were founded, they were founded without gender restrictions, which they were able to get away with because they were under the Department of Homeland Security and not the Department of Defense like the rest of the Military Branches. They took the Air Force Commando Program and founded the Aviation Survival Tech (Rescue Swimmer) School and a few years later, the first girl joined the ranks. No Lowered Standards. The Army Salvage Divers have one standard. 40 pushups, 6 pullups, and timed 500 meter swim. You will not find ANY gender references in their code AT ALL, ANYWHERE.

To be completely honest, it’s not just these two agencies, there are capable women everywhere, in all walks of life, in every branch of the military, in every office of government, desk job, manual labor job, in the private sector, who are completely capable and even outdo their male counterparts. However, because of the majority of women in the world either being unable or unwilling to climb to the level they have attained, the majority of the world thinks that the only job a woman can outdo a man in is a hand job.

Just look on Youtube. Girls are strong now. Girls are fighters now. Girls fight and die and kill in combat now. Women were always able to become the President, but now it’s actually a reality and not just a bar joke. There are things that make a man and a woman different, but physical strength is quickly starting to not be one of them. Maybe that’s why society seems to be threatened by it, it’s quick. We all know how eagerly society accepts change with open arms (yeah right).

As for the more well known agencies. The City Fire Department, the Police Department, The Military, they are plagued by women (and men) who are little more than excess baggage. But in their ranks, there are many capable women who highly exceed their standards, yet they are so overlooked either because there are so few of them or they just get lost in the masses. I met an Olympic Swimmer who got turned down for the SEAL program just because she was a woman. They say if they let one woman in, they have to let them all in, and all those worthless women would only have to do 3 pushups to get into the SEAL program.

Here’s what I propose. If women want these jobs so bad, and they don’t want the double standards, why don’t they all just max the male standards? If the men have to do 75 pushups, then do 75 pushups. If the men have to hit x amount of sales in y amount of time, then do it. Don’t give them a reason to drop standards, and the double standards will go away. If they didn’t have a reason to keep women out of these jobs, they wouldn’t. And I believe they wouldn’t, despite the Old Boys Club, because the Pentagon genuinely flipped out when Congress ordered them to take 16,000 female soldiers off Forward Support Battalions in Iraq. However, many women give them a reason to. If the Police women would have just worked out a little more and passed all the men’s tests with flying colors, the women’s standards would have just faded away with time. This is what the serious women in the Military do anyway. And here’s a secret, men only put down women whom they are able to put down. When a girl can get their back, they welcome her with open arms and you will never find a more supportive group of people than a guys’ team.

However, I recently realized something. Women don’t want to be strong. They don’t want to outdo men. They don’t want to even do the same jobs because then it will be construed that they have to do the same jobs. Lower standards mean easier work, hells yea! More chill time! Who the heck would want to make things harder than they already are? Well now our male co-workers are angry because they have to pick up our slack and they can’t say anything about it or else they get fired. The only thing they can do is not hang out with us, and we even complain about that! All we do is complain that we want equal rights and equal pay, but we don’t want to do the same work for them. We think society should let us kick back a little more because we’re women, and we let scientists go around saying that we’re incapable of kicking back any less than we are. Are we really content with being called incapable?

Yes, I think we are.

I mean am I the only one around here that notices we’re getting stepped on left and right? We’ve gotten to the point socially where most men feel that they can’t have female friends. Men don’t support women because it’s seen as being weak. Well, maybe if we stopped being so goddammed weak, they would start supporting us and start treating us as equals essentially because we would be equals. And furthermore if we were strong, we wouldn’t need their support anyway. But so far everyone just thinks female ambitions of physical or mental strength are, at the most, “cute,” and are never taken seriously. Talk about being self-sufficient. Has Girl Power just become an internet porn term?

But no, the majority of women don’t care. You’re all accountants and sales clerks and waitresses and teachers and mothers and any woman who isn’t is just a dyke or a butch or some trannie who wishes she had a penis. You’re content to do “women’s work,” and dog the girls who aren’t. The most vicious objectors to the woman’s suffrage were women. How typical. How disgustingly typical.

What would make me happy is if there were more strong women, mentally and physically, who weren’t hypocrites and who don’t make it harder for the women who really are trying to make it in this man’s world. If there were enough strong women to push the issue, the issue would be pushed. Moral support is important to individual success, yet in a country where 60% of the population is obese and Depression has been declared an epidemic, I think this is more than just a women’s studies problem, this is a social problem. Personally, I say raise up all the standards and the women who can survive, will, and the rest will wither away and rid society of a generation of weak women. But I’m sure there are gentler methods of dealing with this problem. First I would be happy if we all came together and acknowledged that it is a problem.

I would be happy if there were more support for strong women, which would lessen the social stigma, which would increase the number of women wanting to be strong, which would decrease the number of women who just can’t hack it, or encourage them to start hacking it, and open up opportunities for women that were formerly closed to them. I want every woman to make a commitment to herself that she is going to make an effort to become strong, in whatever way, whether it’s taking more control of her life or losing weight or doing 3 pushups or running a marathon, whatever. Just start becoming stronger in some aspect, that will teach your daughters to be stronger, and then they’ll never let men hit them or male co-workers push them around and they’ll be able to actually do whatever they want with their lives. More support, less lowered standards. Start believing that we can, and furthermore, that we SHOULD.

In regards to this blog, I’ve come to realize that my opinions are not in line with the community here. This is a pop-culture blog, a place to talk about cheating boyfriends and hot movies and how we really need some chocolate sometimes. I’m tired of being the one who “stir’s the pot.” No one’s going to like my movie reviews anyway because most of the movies out now totally suck IMO, and my solution to a cheating boyfriend is a phone call to some Albanian friends, an unmarked van, and black ski masks (oops, I didn’t actually type that). I think maybe I’m a little too intense for this crowd, hey life is about finding your place in the world right, this is obviously not mine. So for my own sanity, I won’t be writing here anymore.

If for some strange, insane reason you feel compelled to read any more of my political controversies, flame me over at my blog: http://www.iamnotbitterbut.blogspot.com

Saturday, October 11, 2008

Girl Pushups are for GIRLS




Push Ups and Pull Ups are great and you gals can all learn to do them too!

Well, my response to these beloved sources of inspiration?

Screw it, No We Can't!
---Cranky Fitness


It’s the year 2008 and even Arnold Schwarzenegger says that human muscle is human muscle, whether you are a man or a woman, and it responds to one thing and one thing only…hard work.

Well shucks now that it’s the year 2008, women hitting it up with the dudes is almost common place with the advent of Crossfit and the addition of Women’s Wrestling in the Olympics. Now I see girls repping out pullups on Youtube who aren’t even super Romanian Weightlifters like the stereotype of the 90’s said they would have to be. Now we’re seeing more and more girls hop on men’s football teams in high school and movies are being made idolizing girls who hit it up with the boys.

This is a good thing right? Equality of the sexes. Finally! After so long as being viewed as “the weaker sex,” we can finally do anything a man can do AND have children. Hah! Just when you thought being a girl had its drawbacks.

So why are some girls complaining about how “the bar has been raised?” Now girls aren’t just doing pullups and pushups, they’re expected to do pullups and pushups. There’s no more “girl-pushups.” No more “modified-pullups.” That’s so last decade. If women want equality, well hop damn they’re going to have to work for it just like the men do. Guys have to work out at the age of 13 when their growth pallets are still forming just to be accepted by society, so what makes women think that we should be any different if we want the same treatment?

“Oh but we don’t want to have to work hard like the men do,” yeah we just want the preferential treatment no strings attached. This is why men hate girl’s on guys teams, they think they won’t want to do the same work they will, and hence they try to isolate us into our own environments. Every men’s sports team trains harder than the women’s sports team, even in college. I trained with the guys swim team and it was hell compared to the girls practice, I gained like an inch on my arms after one workout.

Here’s the deal, we all campaigned and complained for our civil rights for over a century and now that we’re getting them, let’s not screw it up. If you can’t do a pullup, don’t worry, just practice, start by hanging and doing negatives. But if you’re too fat to do a pullup, stop eating. If you’re too weak to do a pushup, hit the bench. The “oh I can’t do it because I’m a girl” excuse isn’t going to fly anymore. You wanted girl power, you got it.

Now earn it or shut the hell up. (And yes that’s me in the vid doing one arm pushups).

Wednesday, October 08, 2008

Oberon Theatre Ensemble - Fall Frolic: A Fabulous Fundraiser!


Try saying "Fall Frolic Fabulous Fundraiser" six times. Now add some awesome wine, gourmet cheese, and really scrumptious dessert chocolates; throw in mingling with a great theatre crowd, and you have the recipe for a wonderful evening.

A little from the website (which I just started helping with):

An Evening of Mingling, Wine, Gourmet Cheeses, & Decadent Dessert Samplings!

All to benefit Oberon Theatre Ensemble and our upcoming 2009 Season!

Purchase your ticket today!

When:Tuesday October 21, 7-10 pm
Where:Professor Thom's
219 2nd Ave, between 13th & 14th Streets


Tickets will be *$35* if purchased before Oct. 14
and *$45* if purchased after.

Please go to www.OberonTheatre.org/Fall-Frolic/ to use the PayPal link. I couldn't get it to look groovy on my site here.

Gourmet foods generously sponsored by:



Ideal Cheese Gourmet Cheese Shop (www.IdealCheese.com): Ideal Cheese offers the finest cheeses of the world. Our cheeses are available per lb, per full wheel, or even in specialty cheese baskets for gifts or great treats. Ideal Cheese also offer specialty products, such as fine Cooking Oils, Vinegars and specialty meats.

Our Cheese and Specialty Products are of the highest quality and we pride ourselves on offering our customers the very best cheeses of the world and specialty foods, online today. The Ideal Taste...The Ideal Choice.



and


Sweet Muse (www.SweetMuse.com): Sweet Muse celebrates the creative, playful spirit in all of us with handmade treats to indulge the senses and inspire. The fudgy, gourmet brownies are freshly baked from scratch using only the finest ingredients and then carefully hand-packaged into gift tins and gift boxes perfect for both personal and corporate gifts.

Swirl Events will be at the party to provide information about the wine and wine pairings.



Swirl Events (www.SwirlEvents.com): A SWIRL EVENTS WINE TASTING is a festive and elegant idea for Holiday Parties. In this tough financial climate, we are an affordable option, allowing you to still celebrate with style while maintaining your budget. Swirl makes your entertaining effortless. We provide EVERYTHING for your event including a selection of amazing wine, gourmet chocolate and cheese pairings, elegant stemware, and our professionally-trained team of Swirl wine experts.

Cash bar will also be available.

It just keeps getting better: you don't want to miss out on our RAFFLE, so be sure to get your tickets early when you arrive!

There will be raffle prizes donated by our headlining sponsors, Ideal Cheese and Sweet Muse, as well as other fabulous and generous raffle donors including:



Maieutic Theatre Works (MTWorks),



Hotsy Totsy Burlesque,



Barnes & Noble,



Lansdowne Road Sports Bar

and many more!

It's going to be a lot of fun, and for a good cause: Oberon Theatre Ensemble is a great theatre company, who has gone out on a limb to put me in productions and work with me...and has 12 years worth of incredible plays and staged readings - two of which I will be in coming up this Fall, I think...

So if you can, come on out! The raffle gifts are going to ROCK and the cheese, wine, and desserts will be amazing.

xo
D